Chapter III. - THE TOBACCO CLUB.

There was a short interval of silence. Each one busied himself with pipe and tobacco. The dense clouds of smoke which rolled from the lips of all had soon enveloped the room with a veil of bluish vapor, from the midst of which the tallow candle emitted a faint, sickly light.

The king ordered the man in waiting to light several additional candles. „To-day our Tobacco Club must also present a festive appearance, that the contrast between it and the ball may not be too great. Tell me, Pollnitz, how are matters progressing over there? Is the assemblage a handsome one? Are they enjoying themselves? Is the queen gay? and the princesses, are they dancing merrily?“


„Sire,“ said Pollnitz, „a more magnificent festival than to-day's I have never witnessed. Her majesty was never more beautiful, more radiant, or gayer than today. She shone like a sun in the midst of the handsomely dressed and adorned ladies of the court.“

„Indeed! she was then magnificently attired?“ said the king, and his countenance darkened.

„Sire, I had no idea the queen possessed so princely a treasure in jewels.“

„She has put on her jewels, then, has she? It seems they are taking advantage of my absence. They are merry and of good cheer, while I am writhing on a bed of pain,“ exclaimed the king, who, in his easily excited irritability, never once remembered that he himself had appointed this festival, and had demanded of his wife that she should lay aside care, and be cheerful and happy.

„Happily, however, your majesty is not ill, and not on a bed of pain. The queen has, therefore, good reason to be happy.“

The king made no reply, but raised his mug to his lips, and took a long draught of beer, and let fall its lid with an angry movement.

„I should not be surprised if Frederick had clandestinely come over to this ball,“ murmured the king. „They dare any thing when not apprehensive of my taking them by surprise.“

„But taking by surprise is your majesty's forte,“ exclaimed Count Hacke, endeavoring to give the conversation another direction. „Never before in my life did I feel my heart beat as it did when I crossed the threshold of this chamber to-day.“

The king, who was easily soothed, laughed heartily. „And never before did I see such pale faces as yours. Really, if the gout had not made my fingers so stiff and unwieldy, I would paint you a picture of this scene that would make a magnificent counterpart to my representation of the Tobacco Club, and I would call it 'The Six Tailor Apprentices who are afraid of Blue Monday.' See! we will now devote ourselves to poetry and the arts, and our learned and fantastic son will soon have no advantage over us whatever. If he plays the flute, we paint. While he writes sentimental, we will write satirical poems; and while he sings to sun, moon, and stars, we will do as the gods, and, like Jupiter, envelop ourselves in a cloud. Let it be well understood, however, not for the purpose of deluding a Semele or any other woman, at all times, and in all circumstances, we have been true to our wives, and in this particular the prince royal might well take his father as an example.“

„Sire, he could do that in all things,“ exclaimed Count von Goltz, blowing a cloud of smoke from his lips.

„He thinks at some future day to govern the kingdom with his book-learning and his poems,“ said the king, laughing. „Instead of occupying himself with useful things, drilling recruits, drawing plans, and studying the art of war, he devotes his time to the acquirement of useless and superficial knowledge, which benefits no one, and is most injurious to himself. A dreaming scholar can never be a good king; and he who, instead of sword and sceptre, wields the pen and fiddle-bow, will never be a good general.“

„Nevertheless, no regiment made a finer appearance, or was better drilled, at the last review, than that of the prince royal,“ said the Duke of Holstein.

The king cast a distrustful look at him, and muttered a few words which no one understood. He was never pleased to hear any defence of the prince royal, and suspected every one who praised him.

„Your majesty forgets that this is a sitting of the Tobacco Club and not of the State Council,“ said Pollnitz, in a fawning voice. „If your majesty designed to be angry, it was not necessary to light the pipes and fill the beer-mugs; for while you are neither smoking nor drinking, the pipe goes out, and the beer becomes stale.“

„True,“ replied the king, and raising his glass he continued: „I drink this to the health of him who first overcame his timid heart and dared to enter my chamber. Who was it? I have forgotten.“

„It was the privy councillor Von Eckert, sire,“ said Count Hacke, with an ironical smile. Eckert bowed.

„He entered the chamber as if going to battle,“ exclaimed Von Pollnitz, laughing. „In the spirit he took leave of all the fine breweries, and artfully constructed never-smoking chimneys which he had built; he also took leave of the city exchanges, which he had not yet provided with royal commissioners, destined to despoil them of their riches; he bade adieu to his decoration and to his money-bags, and exclaiming, 'To the king I owe all that I am, it is therefore but proper that my back as well as my life should be at his service,' marched courageously into the royal presence.“

„Did he really do that? Did he say that?“ exclaimed the king. „Eckert, I am pleased with you for that, and will reward you. It is true that I have elevated you from a lowly position; that I have made a gentleman of the chimney-sweep; but gratitude is a rare virtue, men seldom remember the benefits they have received; your doing so, is an evidence that you have a noble heart, one which I know how to appreciate. The new house which I am building in Jager Street shall be yours; and I will not present you with the naked walls, but it shall be handsomely furnished and fitted up at my expense.“

„Your majesty is the most gracious, the best of monarchs!“ exclaimed Eckert, hastening to the king and pressing his hand to his lips. „Yes, your majesty is right in saying that you have elevated me from the dust, but my heart, at least, was always pure, and I will endeavor to preserve it so. You have rescued me from the scum of the people. As the ancient Romans gave freedom to those slaves who had rendered themselves worthy of it by good and noble deeds, so has my king also delivered me from the bondage of poverty and lowliness, and given me freedom, and I also will strive to render myself worthy of this great boon by good and noble actions.“

„And Berlin offers you the best opportunities of doing so. There are still many smoking chimneys and indifferent beer breweries. Privy Councillor Von Eckert can, therefore, still execute many glorious deeds before he is gathered to his forefathers,“ exclaimed Von Pollnitz.

All were amused at this, and the king himself could not refrain from smiling. Von Eckert's countenance had become pale and lowering, and casting an angry look at Von Pollnitz, he said, with a forced laugh:

„Really, your wit to-day is dazzling, and I am so charmed with your pleasantries, that should your wine merchant refuse to supply you with any more wine until your old accounts have been settled, I shall be perfectly willing to send you a few bottles from my own cellar, that your Grace may be able to drink my health.“

„That I will gladly do,“ said Pollnitz, affably. „Yes, I will drink to your long and lasting health, for the longer you live the more time your ancestors will have to increase and to multiply themselves. And, as it seems that you are not destined to become the father of a coming generation, you should, at least, endeavor to become the progenitor of your ancestors and the father of your fathers. Ancestors are born to you as children are to others, and, if I am not mistaken, you are already the possessor of three. For a gentleman of wealth and quality, this is, however, too few. I will, therefore, drink to your health, that you may still be able to create many ancestors. And I propose to your majesty to give him an ancestor for every chimney which he frees from smoke.“

„Silence, Pollnitz!“ exclaimed the king, laughing. „No more of this raillery. Listen to what I have to say. I have given Eckert the new house, and as I have invested him with a title of nobility, it is but proper that a noble coat-of-arms should be placed over his door. Gentlemen, let us consider what the escutcheon of Eckert shall be. Each of you, in his turn, shall give me his opinion. You, duke, commence.“

With grave and sober mien the gentlemen began to confer with each other in regard to Von Eckert's escutcheon; and each one considering the favor in which the former stood with the king, took pains to propose the most magnificent coat-of-arms imaginable. But the king was not pleased with the grave and learned devices which were proposed. He disliked giving the newly-made baron a coat-of-arms worthy of any house of old and established nobility, which would have placed him on an equality with the oldest counts and barons of the kingdom.

„When I build a house,“ said the king, „I wish every one, to see that it is a new one; I therefore give it a nice white coat of paint, and not an old graystone color to make it look like a robber castle. Eckert should, therefore, have a fresh touch of paint for his new dignity, a spick and span new coat-of-arms.“

„I am entirely of your majesty's opinion,“ exclaimed Von Pollnitz solemnly; „and as every noble family bears on its coat-of-arms some emblem and reminiscence of the deeds and events through which it became great, so should also the escutcheon of the noble house of Eckert contain some such reminiscence. I propose to quarter this shield. The first field shall show on a silver ground a black chimney, in which we will also have indicated the Prussian colors. The second field is blue, with a golden vat in the centre, having reference to Eckert's great ability as a beer-brewer. The third field is green, with a golden pheasant in the middle, suggestive of Eckert's earlier occupation as gamekeeper in Brunswick; and the fourth field shows on a red ground a cock and a knife, a reminiscence of the good old times when Privy Councillor Von Eckert fed and dressed fowls in Bairout.“

A peal of laughter from the entire club rewarded Von Pollnitz for his proposition. The king was also so well pleased, that he, in all gravity, determined to accept it, and to have a coat-of-arms with the above designated emblems adjusted over the door of the new house in Jager Street.

The merriment of the gentlemen of the Tobacco Club was now becoming energetic, and jests and jokes were contributed by all. The grand chamberlain, Von Pollnitz, was, however, the gayest of the gay. And if the pleasantries which bubbled from his lips like water from a fountain, at any time threatened to flag, a glance at the pale face of Von Eckert, who fairly trembled with suppressed rage, was sufficient to renew his merriment.

While the king was conversing with Von Eckert on the subject of his new house, Pollnitz turned to his neighbor and asked if he had not made ample amends for his awkwardness in the first instance.

„By my thoughtless repetition of that hypocritical man's words, I procured him the new house, but I have also given him a coat-of-arms; and I wager the privy councillor would willingly relinquish the former, if he could thereby get rid of the latter.“

„Pollnitz, why are you looking so grave?“ asked the king at this moment. „I wager you are in a bad humor, because the handsome house in Jager Street was not given to you.“

„By no means, your majesty; as handsome as the house is, it would not suit me at all.“

„Ah, yes, you are right; it would be much too large a one for you!“ said Frederick William, laughing.

„No, your majesty, it would be much too small for me. When a cavalier of my quality once determines to build a house, it should be arranged in accordance with his rank and standing, and that costs a great deal of money, much more than I ever possessed. It is true that my father left me a fortune of about two hundred thousand dollars, but what is such a trifle to a nobleman? It was not enough for a decent support, and it was too much to go begging on. I calculated how long this sum might be made to last, and finding that, with considerable economy, it would perhaps do for four years, I lived like a noble and generous cavalier for that time; and during that period I was fortunate enough to have the most devoted friends and the truest sweethearts, who never deserted me until the last dollar of my fortune was expended!“

„Do I understand you to say that you expended two hundred thousand dollars in four years?“ asked the king.

„Yes, your majesty; and I assure you that I was obliged to practise the most, rigorous economy.“

Frederick William regarded him with surprise, almost with admiration. To the king there was something in this man's nature which was imposing. It was perhaps the great contrast between the unlimited extravagance of the baron and his own frugality, which exerted so great an influence on the king, excited his astonishment, and enlisted his admiration in behalf of this ready, witty, and ever-merry courtier.

„An income of fifty thousand dollars is, therefore, not sufficient for a decent support?“ asked the king.

„Your majesty, if one attempted to live in a style befitting a nobleman, on that sum, he might die of hunger.“

„Ah, explain that. What sum would you consider necessary to enable you to live in a style befitting a nobleman?“

Pollnitz remained lost in thought for a moment, and then replied:

„You majesty, in order to live somewhat respectably, I should require four hundred thousand dollars yearly.“

„That is not true, not possible!“ exclaimed the king.

„That is so very possible, sire, that I hardly know whether it would suffice or not.“

„Gentlemen, do you believe that?“ asked the king.

„I, for my part, have not the fourth part of this income,“ said the Duke of Holstein, smiling.

„I not the tenth!“ said Count Von der Goltz.

„And I not the twentieth!“ exclaimed General Von Schwerin and Count Hacke at the same time.

„And yet,“ said the king, „you all live as respected cavaliers, as esteemed gentlemen of my court. Let us hear how Pollnitz would manage to spend so much money. Quick, Jochen, quick, give us a sheet of paper and a pencil.“

The valet hastily executed this commission, and handed the king paper and pencil.

„Fill the glasses, Jochen,“ ordered the king, „and then seat yourself at the foot of the table, and pay attention to what Von Pollnitz is about to explain. It is worth the trouble to learn how an income of four hundred thousand dollars can be spent in a respectable manner. You shall dictate, and I will be your secretary. Woe to you, however, if you do not keep your word, if you expend less! For every thousand which you fail to account for, you shall drink ten glasses of beer, and smoke a pipe of the strong Havana tobacco recently sent me by the stadtholder of Holland.“

„But what shall I receive for every thousand which I expend over and above that sum?“ asked Von Pollnitz, laughing.

„Oh, it is impossible that a nobleman should need more, that is, provided he does not expend it in a foolish manner, like a madman.“

„And if, in order to live in a style befitting a nobleman, I should nevertheless need more, what am I to receive for every thousand?“

„Well, then, for every thousand, I will pay a hundred of your oldest debts,“ said the king. „But commence. And you, gentlemen, drink and smoke, and pay attention to what he has to say.“


Dieses Kapitel ist Teil des Buches FREDERICK THE GREAT AND HIS COURT. Book I.